Panic Attacks

I haven't posted in a while, which I can mainly put down to having no ideas which ironic because I have 20 ideas stored away as drafts but just no inspiration to write them. They just didn't feel like the things I want to write/talk about, they felt a bit generic. As much as I love reading peoples top 5 favourite lipsticks, I just don't really care all that much. Whilst it is true I will probably post things like that in the near future, right now I just don't really have the feel for it. But as always, if there's anything you want to read then I'm all ears.

Okay anywho, much like the title says, today I'm going to be conveying my view on panic attacks. I've only just started having them, I had my first a couple of days ago and it was really bad, it triggered randomly at 10pm and I was silently (yet somehow hysterically?) crying and hyperventilating and a feeling which I can only describe as stage fright.

My second one happened today, at school, in the middle of a lesson. I was in P.E. and got myself wound up over not being able to do something and it felt like everyone was laughing at me and staring and I wanted to world to eat me up. Instead, I had a panic attack and honestly I think panic attacks are worse than the world suddenly growing teeth and chomping at your leg.

I felt like I was about to be sick, again the hyperventilating happened and I was close to tears but luckily managed to restrain it because of my little sense of surroundings (I say this only because you can't focus on anything but what you were anxious about and you begin to fade out of hearing what people are saying or doing) and I also experienced that stage fright feeling I mentioned. I call it this because it's as if you have that feeling you have before a drama performance or before you're about to speak in front of an audience (large or not, it doesn't matter, just depends on the person) and you have that god awful feeling for twenty minutes. Unlike actual stage fright, it doesn't go away after five minutes in and you realise it isn't that bad. It stays. And it stays. And it stays some more. It even lingers around after the panic attack has came to a stop just to remind you about everything you were anxious about, so ha don't worry about forgetting the whole experience because you can't.

Urban Decay Naked 2 Palette Dupe

So back in March 2014 I managed to scrape up enough money to buy my absolute best friend the Urban Decay Naked 2 palette for her birthday, even though I've been wanting it for a year and I did actually open it and goggled at it for hours considering keeping it for myself, and since then I've been looking for the perfect dupe. Luckily this little beaut appeared in my stocking this Christmas:

                                            

The w7 in the buff natural nudes palette, unfortunately when I saw the end of the packaging before I saw the whole thing I did think it was the real Naked 2 palette, but as I opened it completely I was a little disappointed - I'm not going to lie, well not on here anyway. The disappointment didn't last long though because as I opened it I saw how it was an exact match for the Naked 2.

                                           
The colours are literally the same as the Naked 2 palette, and the pigmentation is just asdfghjkl I literally have no words you don't even understand how beautiful this little masterpiece is. Unfortunately, two of the colours are cut off in the photo but it's just a matte beige-white colour and on the other end a matte black. ALso, since this was a gift I'm unsure of the price but it'd be simple enough to google and find out.

Now time for some badly made swatches:
                                           

My Go To Bath Products (If I've Got No Lush In Stock)

Lush is the mothership of every person's bath products and sometimes it even overtakes the higher end products in the race to best bath products. So if I'm in the mood for a bath, I'm 99.9% of the time drawn to my Lush stock like a moth to a flame, but on a few sad and rare occasions my pile of products is empty and I have to resort to my l'ess loved but still brilliant' products I have stored in my overflowing bathroom cabinet - fun fact: it was meant to be for the family use but then I took over 3 out of 4 shelves.

| Along Came Betty - So Much Bubble Bath Soak | Along Came Betty - Shimmer Me Softly Bath Crystals | Zoella Beauty - Fizz Bar |

Along Came Betty - So Much Bubble Bath Soak

Along Came Betty is an amazingly cheap brand which has a sense of soap and glory about it with catchy and witty titles for their products, it's a good chunk cheaper but not as high quality - still pretty good though! This only needs a little bit of product to get bubbles running all you do is pour some of the lovely scented liquid under a hot running tap and bamn; you have a delicious-good-enough-to-eat smelling bath in an instant. 

Along Came Betty - Shimmer Me Softly Bath Crystals

These are on the complete other side compared to the bath soak (think of it like Bath Soak = England and Crystals = Australia ) they didn't add bubbles or anything exciting like that, but it did tint the bath slightly baby pink and god the smell was a heavenly intoxication of beautifulness. The only thing that   disappoints me about these is that sometimes a few crystals don't mix in very well and it's an 'odd' feeling when you discover that halfway through your bath!

Zoella Beauty - Fizz Bar 
I'm a massive Zoella fan, she actually inspired me to start my blog and I've watched her videos since about late 2009 to early 2010, and so when I received her fizz bar for Christmas I guess you could say I was a bit overwhelmed with excitement. First of all the scent it gives off is just so dainty and fresh it's absolutely gorgeous, it doesn't give any colouring or bubbles which does make it a little bit bland but overall it's extremely good for just a refreshing bath. 

What are you're bath go to's? Do you like Lush products? Do you even have baths or are you more of a shower person? Let me know down below! Also make sure to give this post a like.

Body Shop Scents

                                      

Not too long ago a friend gave me the Atlas Mountain Rose gift set from The Body Shop for Christmas and as soon as my nose first smelt the god given gift that is this scent I fell in love. Now this certainly isn't for everyone, it's quite florally and girly - which admittedly I was even a little shy off. In the gift set I got the  moisturiser shown in the middle and the small body spritzer on the far right. In about two weeks the small body spray was practically gone and the moisturiser was about half full (It would have been used more but I'm not a big fan of moisturising considering I only shave my legs once in a blue moon - no point having legs that are as soft as a baby but as hairy as gorilla. I think I might have to start again though because it is spring now and that means dresses and no more hiding away in jeans unfortunately) so I managed to use it well. When the small spritzer ran out I immediately ran to my nearest Body Shop and picked up the full size for about £7-8, my memory is slipping and I can't remember the exact prize but somewhere near the 7 pound mark. The fresh scent is one of my absolute musts for the up and coming seasons, but if this isn't your particular scent check out the others in the voyage collection! My next favourite is the Japanese Cherry Blossom so check that out as well, of course you can always smell the collections in store and the mini sprays are only £5 if you want to test them out first- all together the full size is a lot better value for money. Make sure to tell me your favourite body shop scent in the comments and give this post a like!

OOTD

I like to dress up for occasions and I consider Easter to be one of them, now I'm no Christian but we do still celebrate Easter - or atleast my family get me chocolate eggs and I think that counts. Much like Christmas it is a tradition that most people celebrate in one way or another even if they don't necessarily belong to that religion. Anyhow here's the outfit I wore on Easter!

| Top - Definitions | High Waisted Jeans - New Look | Purse - New Look | Bag - Unknown |

                                           

Daily Face Products

Products top left to bottom right - No7 Colour Calming Green Tinted Primer, Nars Blush in Amour, Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation in Sandy Beige, Bourjois Bronzer and Highlighter, Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer in Ivory, Rimmel Eyebrow Pencil in Hazel, Rimmel Stay Matte Powder, Benefit Roller Lash Mascara, Revlon Lip Butter in Berry Smoothie 

                                   
No7 Primer - £10.50
This primer is a startling green colour, I say startling because when you blend it in it does make your skin a little greeny, that contrasts with redness so it can eradicate it as best as possible. It does make you a little green but that goes away as soon as you put your concealer or foundation on top so no need to worry about that, over all it takes away redness and makes your makeup stay longer so it's definitely a keeper.

Nars Blush - £23 
This shade, amour, is such a lovely pink and as we all know Nars blushes are definitely one of the best up there in the high end range of products. Like most of Nars' products they're pigmented, full of colours and 100% worth the money.

Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse - £7.69
This is cheaper than most of the drugstore liquid foundations and don't let the cheap price put you off, the mousse texture builds a very covered face without giving a cakey texture that you might expect. The finish says matte but I believe it to be more of a velvety look making it look a bit more natural, add a bit of highlighter or blush with shimmer in and it looks very natural.

Bourjois Bronzer and Highlighter - £7.99
This is a bit of a Justin Bieber product, you either seriously love it or hate it like your life depends on it, I'm on the loving side for this bronzer - I hate Justin Bieber though like don't even get me started. It's got a sort of chalky texture that doesn't give off too much colour pay off but it's definitely buildable so I find it perfect for School and that sort of natural 'I woke up like this' look. The highlighter is a thing I don't use too much as I prefer the sort of creamy highlighter you get in a lipstick formation rather than the powder versions, but I have tried it out a couple of times and it's very natural and has more colour pay off than the bronzer

Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer - £5.49 
I can not speak highly enough of this under eye concealer. Firstly, it's creamy texture is perfect for blending and covering up dark circles. Secondly, it contains little specks of glitter that aren't even noticeable but reflect the light making you appear my bright eyed and awake. Lastly, it's price is so good for it's value, I've had mine for about 3-4 months now and have used it every day religiously and it still hasn't ran out or came close to it.

Rimmel Eyebrow Pencil - £2.99
Not too exciting, it gets the job done and at a low damage to the bank account. A couple of things I like is how it has a large selection of colours, I'm that in the middle between blonde and brown eyebrow colour and hazel is absolutely perfect for it, also I like the little bristles on the end that you can use to comb through and make a more natural and softer look.

Rimmel Stay Matte Powder - £3.99
A holy grail of products I could not live without, use it everyday and the translucent colour is perfect on pale skin but may create an ashy look if it's on darker skin tones. Very cheap but very beneficial for the everyday makeup.

Benefit Roller Lash - £19.50
This of course is the sample size and doesn't cost £19.50 but I got sent this and use it practically everyday, not only does it separate each and every lash but it also extends it too a length I didn't even know existed on my lashes. I am definitely going to pick up the full size once my sample runs out.

Revlon Lip Butter - £7.99
Obviously isn't an everyday necessity because it's a lip product and I'm always varying them up but I use 4/7 days a week, the colour berry smoothie is a lovely deep pink that looks almost natural because of the sheer but buildable lip butter texture. Definitely a winning product I will make sure to repurchase.

Top Five Books

I'm a massive book lover, always have been. I could just read and read all day and all night, it's as if I get absorbed into the world and I'm sure it isn't a good thing but let's pretend it is. I think books should have big massive warning signs on the front that read 'WARNING: Reading this book will infact make you want to be a shadow hunter and p.s if you draw runes onto your skin it won't actually work.'  or 'WARNING: if after you read this book you realise you didn't get your acceptance letter to Hogwarts don't cry too much, it might ruin the ink in the book', something along those lines would of saved me a lot of hassle and time. That's a lie. I'm not sure about you but the warning signs would be meaningless to me, they're just another thing that come along for the ride as an added bonus. It's all just a part of the magic we find inside each word of each and every book we read.

I know, I know, there will be some of you back there reading this and thinking 'Oh she likes books she must be a nerd.' and my reply? So what. If it makes me a nerd I don't care, reading takes me to a new world and I'd do it five thousand times in a day if I could - but I can't. Don't be ashamed of reading. Those who read are more likely to be smarter, it helps broaden your vocabulary, improves your spelling and if you read parts out loud it helps with articulation and all together with your speech. What does all this help with though? Let's put it into a situation. All of these hypothetical situation seem to stereotype into a generic interview and sorry, but I'm jumping onto that stereotypical train. Put yourself into the position of an interviewer. You had a position open for a job and you've narrowed down to applicants to two separate people. They have the exact same levels of education and are equally as smart and prepared for the job. You then decide to look at the actual interview. Who would you go for? The person using extensive words and having an appropriate manner with the pronunciation of each word correct and no slang or shortening down, or the person who uses a basic vocabulary and can't even pronounce half of the words they try to use but fail as it's in an incorrect context?

So after that lecture, let me move you on to the actual reason we are here today, my top five books. I will try not to be too much of a stereotype with  my books but dammit, I just can't help it sometimes.

5) Looking For Alaska

Let's start this list of with a smidgen of John Green, I had to include him in there somewhere. Looking for Alaska is a beautiful story that at times makes me want to cry, with chapter names that are countdowns it doesn't help when you say a 'one more chapter' mumble to yourself at night, because that soon becomes two or three chapters and soon enough you accidentally read the whole book in one night. With the general John Green heart wrenching writing splattered all over the book, you find yourself quoting it more often than not. It makes you take a minute to really pause and think, plus with an emotional rollercoaster- it's always a great choice.

4) Pretty Little Liars

ASDFGHJKL you don't even understand my love for this book series- which by the way is a lot. I've currently got them on hold at book 5 because I need to finish the Mortal Instruments and The Divinci Code (anyone else read more than one book at once or just me?) BUT these books are just so gripping you can't help but turn page after page until suddenly it's the end of the book and you've wasted (but not really wasted, more like well spent) your entire afternoon, yet you're still reaching out and grabbing the next one in the series. If you're watching the TV show do not fear because the storyline is different and won't give too many spoilers away.

3) Vampire Diaries

Okay so I may or may not have all the books in this series and this may or may not extend over more than ten books. Like I said this only may be true, it also may be not. The only thing with that many books is the storyline drags on a bit, it all gets a bit weird and odd like  I think Satan come sinto at one point in the later books. Despite this, the early books in the series are amazing- they do have some old fashioned words in though, that might not be quite your taste but it doesn't ruin the book too much. Like I said though, it all gets weird and as if the writer started doing it just for the money and tried to drag it on as much as possible (Kinda like when you chew your gum for too long and it loses all flavour and texture and starts to ache you're jaw a bit, but in a book) All in all it's a fantastic series of books but you don't have to stay too dedicated to them. P.S. it's nothing like the TV version which means there isn't 1000 Elenas and 2000 Stefans (I personally found all the dopplegangers very confusing)

2) The Morganville Vampires

I have no words. Literally. Well that's a lie, I have about a thousand opinions buzzing around my brain about this fabulous book series right now but none are sticking. How do i put this... basically if you're into Harry Potter or The Mortal Instruments or anything that's as nerdy as those books then you will fall in love with these much like many other people have. No, the vampires do not sparkle and yes they do actually have human blood because they aren't freaking pansies so no need to worry about that. The two main guys are extremely attractive and one has a slight dickish personality that we overcome and label as cheeky charm and quick wit. He's also a bit of a man slut but it is hotter than hot so it's all good. Just go read it. I dare you to.

1) The Mortal Instruments

LIFE IN A BOOK. My four words that explain this book, four very true words as well. It has everything you need with a cutie gay relationship, a badass team and a confusing relationship that never really becomes straight forward.
                                               
My love for it is very deep and I'm still secretly hoping that I can become a shadow hunter, and no nobody can change my mind about that. I don't even know what to say because something this great is just indescribable.

(A secret added extra) Harry Potter

HARRY POTTER EVERYBODY. Honestly, I wish I could go back and reread the series for the first time as if I hadn't read them before because the magic created within Harry Potter is one that every kid should experience. JK Rowling is a God who has managed to create a whole entire world?????? Writing goals af. Add don't watch the movies to pretend you've read the books, you're only fooling yourself.

So I hope you enjoyed this and make sure to comment your top five books and don't forget to like the post x